A.K.A. ang pagbabalik ng Manyunyugi ng Pelikulang Panget, or in short, should I come back with this comeback? Or would I survive reviewing this revival-ish of a film? Ma at pa, beh. Ma at pa. So sige, keber lang.
I’m back, bichezzz!
STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI (2017)
d., s. Rian Johnson
p. Lucasfilm/Disney chuva
c. Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Daisy Ridley, Laura Dern, Lupita Nyong’o, and others (sila lang mahalaga sa akin bakit ba lol)
Pitch: EPISODE VIII na siya beh, and hallelujah praise the lawd at ang epic space opera saga chenelyn na ito ay marami nang kick-ass na babae sa lead, 40 years later! Where General Leia leads what’s left of the Resistance to safety, with the help of other women in the periphery, in the middle of men with angst lol.
Catch: Saga wearing thin in plot/characterization, not sure if kayang itahi ang last gen sa next gen beh. May the force make hibla.
Lakas maka-flashback itong Star Wars saga ever oo, down memory lane of your life as you watch it.
So 4 years old pa lang pala ako nung unang lumabas ito sa sinehan pala. And 40 years later, we see the Star Wars saga still at it — matapos nilang patayin (!!!) si Han Solo, at matapos mamatay ni Carrie Fisher (huhubelles). Of course we all grew up watching the first 3 movies — or episode 4, 5, 6 sa utak ni pareng George Lucas — and yes, it’s still amazing to see and re-watch from time to time, because the storytelling uses techniques that entertain you, like a good classical Hollywood narrative does. There’s the witty or pa-witty dialogue, lalo na ‘yung banter ni Han Solo and whoever ang ka-banter niya, the obvious longing for something eklavu ni Luke na naging sanhi ng yabang laterz nang na-discover niya ang “The Force,” and the film language that would entertain any geek/film major/cineaste out there (like ooh black si Darth Vader kasi bad, white si Luke kasi good etc. or ‘yung binaligtad na halaaa naka-black na sa huli si Luke kasi hinahalina ni Darth sa dark side pero deep inside nakaputi pa siya so okay good pa rin kami yey).
I was honestly trying to look for such elements again last night when I watched this, lalo na the witty dialogue. Or kahit mga classic one-liners lang ng mga characters (e.g. These aren’t the droids you’re looking for. Like that.) But sadly, even if the dialogue ain’t as freakin’ bad as Justice League’s (I AIN’T TOUCHING THAT ONE), it’s still not as good nor as memorable.
Haha that’s a classic. Miss ya Princess!
And I’m thinking if it’s the characters or the scriptwriter who’s “at fault” here. Ideologically, that is. Like, as happy as I am about their racial and gender diversity, I’m not sure if these newer characters have enough of a personality to begin with, to start acting with motivation, speaking with wit, or merely existing with conviction. And speaking as a scriptwriter, it’s an awful challenge to write dialogues for such characters, I tell ya. Kaya parang sakit sa bangs siyang panoorin teh.
Like for the life of me, I’m still trying to find out what the ex-stormtrooper’s role is in this whole scheme of things. So natauhan ka at ayaw mo nang maging foot soldier lang ng evil empire, so??? And that one particular pilot who’s such a misogynist arsehole in this second sequel film that I’m missing what happened to him in the first film (i.e. sana sumabog na lang ulit siya kunwari, at sa huli na lang lumitaw leche). Like what’s so special about you, pilot with the BB8 droid, at sa iyo naka-focus ang naratibong ito? Eh ang yabang mo lang kaya kainis, and no, hindi ka plot device na kinailangan lang ng Admiral character ni Laura Dern laterz para umigting siya/sila. Kakaloka ang existence niyo, sa totoo lang.
And then of course we have si ati Rey, na we’re still guessing kung sino siya or ano ang heritage nila. Like hallerrrrrrrr natapos na ang second film at lahat, nganga pa rin sa info na ‘yun??? Eh sa original na second film, we get it agad sa huli na “Luke, I am your fatherrrrr.” “Noooo!” Tapos ang heritage mystery. Ito, huhubelles nakaka-dalawang popcorn bucket na ko, wala pa ring reveal na malaman!!! Puro pahaging lang mula kay Kylo Ren tapos bomb drop na walang kwentang plotline ang peyrents ni Rey, cryola lang si bakla nang narinig ang katotohanan, tapos end! Wala pa ring clue-labelles whatsoever sa pagkatao niya, kahit ilang beses siyang tanungin ni Lolo Luke ng “Who are you?” Kaloka. Konti na lang kakanta na ko ng CSI theme song dito eh leche. Whoooooo are you? Who who who who. Cheret.
Paternity Strikes Back. Tapos ang kaso!
And then of course the “conflicted” Kylo Ren, a.k.a. Ben Solo, junakis ni General Leia at Han. Dami niyang hanash teh! Kesyo conflicted sa pagchugi sa sariling pudraks o sa pagbomba sa sariling mudraks, tapos the ego duel chenes with Tito Luke. Saka bakit ba kating-kati kang maging dark side ambassador pare? Two films in, and I still can’t find a clue. Dahil lolo mo si Darth, ganern? Ibalik ang dark glory days, ganern? Paano ka ba pinalaki ng peyrents mo, at ang tanong ko anak, ba’t ka nagkaganyan tininininin-tininininin… And the back story na in-attempt nila ever for you naman eh hilaw din. Dahil lang fail ang lessons niyo ni Tito Mentor, dark ka na? Conflicted conflicted… Nubeh boi, dami hanash sa life, hanash na wala akong makitang pinaghuhugutan mo. His well of loneliness is arid, my dear. By this time, dapat nilamanan na ‘yan ng meatier back story, but no. [Also, HAN SOLO and LEIA nagkaanak??? Anyare? Paanosinoanokailan? Insert back story here!!! dapat.]
Taragis ka, Ben Solo!!! Di pa kita pinapatawad dito!!!
And that is, I think now, that problem of this film: THERE’S NO BACK STORY whatsoever, be it the situation or the characters. They’re like running on fumes of the past films, and decided to surf those fumes na lang and see where this goes wheeeeeeeee lightspeed! Gawa ng new worlds here and there, insert cutesy creatures na tatalo sa Ewoks, and then boom! Lagay natin sila and see where this karambola ends or begins or ends or begins. Kajirits.
And don’t even tell me na “Ay, nasa extended universe ‘yan, nasa comics ‘yan, nasa blah blah blah related pop icon product ‘yan dapat basahin mo blah blah blah para ma-gets mo.” Taragis. We’re not doing a compare-and-contrast of mediums here, okay? Whatever is in a medium, we analyze it as is, where it is, in all its full formalistic glory. So kung may hindi sila nilagay dito, then that’s that, and that maims it, so luz. Wala akong time to make subaybay everything in their merchandise line k, kaya dapat alalahanin nila kung para kanino ba nila ginagawa ang film na ito.
Eat my popcorn fuckers. The cheese and butter didn’t cut it both, kahit may large sarsi in the middle. Note to self: bring jabee next time.
And I think that’s another folly of it. I think the film is trying to please the newer generations in one part, lalo na sa simula, and then the latter half they try to please the Star Wars kiddos of yore, like moi, by putting forth Luke and Leia and that cheap trick of a hologram nga ni R2D2 hahahaha hilarious ‘yun. But that latter half felt more like a eulogy for what will not come again next time around: the sensible saga story. Dahil sa kakaulit ni Hanash Junior na kailangan nang mamatay ang old blah at sila nang new blah ang gagawa ng New Republic or New Order or whatevs (I swear I heard him say New Order, na naisip ko, ay, new waver si koya? Cheret!), feel kong total new slate kemeru ang gagawin nila sa next films, lalo na’t may patikim pa ng new kid characters wearing the new hope rebellion ring chenes. Kumbaga, lulutuin pa nila, para maayos. Kalerks.
You know, no matter who your audience is, we actually don’t care, so long as you make one cohesive narrative that rules them all trilogy films! Yeah, take a cue from other films na marami ring sequels, telling a definitive narrative na may pupuntahan, para mas malaman ang aabangan namin at mas kapaki-pakinabang ang mga karakter owkei??? Hindi ‘yung bubuntot lang si ati kay Luke para maging mentor tas may konek-konek sila ni Hanash Junior tapos si Hanash ang conflict niya ay parang lip service lang — kasi sa labi lang nakikitang lumalabas, hindi nafi-feel sa looban niya, at lalong hindi nakikita sa labas niya! Acting workshop pa more! Cheret.
Hay naku kalerks.
Pero yeah, props to putting an Asian character out there, sa wakas. I loved that Rose character there, and I will love her more pa sana kung hindi naganap ‘yung kiss sa pilot plane crash scene nila ni ex-stormtrooper boi. KAKALOKA KELANGAN MAY KISS TALAGA. Oo ganyan ako kainis. Take a cue sana from Rogue One na wala ‘yan, tumayo ang pelikula nang labanan lang and yeah, good storyline. Hmp.
Heniweys sige bahala na si Batman sa susunod na leg nito. I’ll still be there to see Rey’s journey. Panindigan ang buns na ‘yan sa susunod, k. Let’s see.
LOL pahiram intarwebz. This cracked me up the first time I saw this during the time of The Force Awakens lol.
Next!
Takilya ni Leaflens 